By Gwendolyn Payton | RRG
Growing up in Middle Georgia in the 50’s and 60’s, my siblings and I were led to faith by our parents. America was still living under the 1896 Supreme Court case: Plessy v. Ferguson. This case upheld the constitutionality of “separate but equal” public accommodations for Black and White people. As a result most Christian churches, “public” schools, recreational facilities, and parks in my town were segregated. We could not swim in the public pool because there weren’t any designated for Black people and as a high school student, I could practice at school with the volleyball team but couldn’t play in the games.
In 1965, I was given the opportunity to participate in a program for High School students and because of this program I was able to attend college. I was accepted at Mercer University, a private, Southern Baptist school in Macon, Ga. which was not ready for integration! My most vivid experience with racial prejudice on campus was with the chairman of the Art Department. At our first meeting he stated ,“ You niggers aren’t smart enough to earn a degree from this department!” his words shook me to the core. My mom had a phrase that comes to mind when I’m challenged: She would say, “don’t stop yourself. As long as you can keep moving, don’t you stop.” So although I heard what the professor said, my mom’s words were louder and I kept moving.
During my four years at Mercer University, the racial climate was just short of devastating as we, Black Students, tried to find our place in this new world of academia shrouded by racial and political turbulence. Although many white people were openly abrasive in their stance against having Black students on the campus, we supported one another by sharing our stories, which strengthened our courage. We were a group of minority students, most of us had not had anyone in our immediate family attend college before. Yet, within 6 years of the 1964 Law for desegregation of schools in America, there we stood on the verge of taking our families into a new world of opportunities. There were some white students and professors, including the President of the college, who locked arms with us as well. Together we asked that Black Americans contributions to history be included in textbooks in every department and that a Black Studies department be established. A Black Studies Department was created in 1971!
My faith and spirituality was challenged almost beyond repair in the Fall of 1971. The day after my 21st birthday, my 19 year old cousin, home for the holidays, was shot in the back by a lone white citizen who claimed he was justified because “niggers weren’t supposed to be out after midnight.” The murderer served less than 4 years of a 10 year sentence. That was when I started wrestling with God and my faith. I wanted to understand how and why this happened. Several years passed before the pain of those years began to dissipate. God’s answer: Isaiah 55:8-13. “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are my ways your ways….” There are still some, like in Genesis 6, whose hearts are set on evil. I was strengthened and comforted by the truth of John 16:33 “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” (John.16.33. NIV) Holding onto this truth and the words of my mother, I kept going.
In the Spring of 1972, as a college senior, I had completed the requirements for receiving a double major degree in biology and art from the university. I was overjoyed in anticipation of studying to become a medical illustrator at the Medical College of Georgia. However, my Art Professor lied to me about the requirements for graduation and did not approve my coursework before the graduation committee. So instead of receiving a double major, I graduated in the Spring of 1972 with a single major degree in Biology.
After my degree in Art was not conferred, I found myself struggling to paint from the darkness that event brought into my heart. I lost myself in painting representational portrait works. Only in recent years, have I uncovered the reasons that I had not pursued art with the passion I had years ago. Through the redress and prayers for understanding and healing, I’m reclaiming my passion and honing my skills with the hope of being like Gideon, being as productive today as I was in my youth!
Almost 50 years after I completed the requirements for the Studio Art degree, there was divine intervention. In the Fall of 2019, I arrived in the Atlanta airport traveling from LA, my flight had been delayed. As I waited for the midnight shuttle, I started a conversation with a woman whose flight had also been delayed. She shared that she was a professor at Mercer University in Macon, Georgia. I felt compelled to share with her that I did not get the Art degree but I knew that I had met the requirements. Dr. Gardner offered to confirm my belief. Within two days, Dr. Gardner verified that they could not find any reason that I shouldn’t have received the degree. In redress, the university offered me the opportunity to do a one woman Art Show in the main gallery on the campus as well as the option to March with the Class of 2021 to receive the degree. As I pondered the title for the Art Exhibit, these words came to me:
“Opposition to the truth may derail the dream but the faith of the dreamer prevails.” Gwendolyn M. Payton 2020
A derailed dream but the Faith of the dreamer… I see parallels between my life and the life of Joseph of Gen 39-41. Like Joseph, I’m a dreamer and was given the opportunity to live out that dream by attending a University that displayed “White Only” signs on the sidewalk surrounding the school when I was young. Like Joseph, in addition to the dream being derailed, there were battles lost and heartbreaking tragedy. Even when Joseph was in prison he freely used his talent to help others. There are 3 things that Joseph’s story gives us to help navigate life: a strong faith and trust in God, wisdom and courage to share your story and compassion for others no matter what is happening in your own life. Over the years, God has allowed me to continue to see His perspective of life through prayer, perseverance, faith in His word and the guidance of His Holy Spirit.
I have been blessed with the opportunity to share my story via a documentary: The Faith of The Dreamer: One Woman’s Story of Racial Trauma and Healing. Check out the trailer here! Please pray for me and that the film reaches others who need their hearts and souls healed from racial trauma.
A Word From The Editor:
I pray that this article encourages you all to have hope and faith in Jesus as we are living in uncertain and perilous times. Hold fast to this truth from his word:
“Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:6-7